Knock Knock

Knock Knock Knock.

I hear rumblings and thrashings from big, galumphing creatures behind the door. I try to peak through the curtains, but all I see are the shadows and silhouettes of varied and strange creatures. They’re having the greatest party I’ve ever not been invited to. I’m knocking on the door with hopes that my gate crashing will be accepted. I mean I have no recourse if they don’t let me in – even if it is my own house. What do these creatures care if little old me wants to join in the party? They’re having a fine old time on their own. Still, I’d really like to go in. I am drawn inexplicably to this place. I am drawn time and again. Because, I’ve been to these parties before. I’ve drank the wine, danced on the tables and made-out in the closets. But I keep losing the password. I keep misplacing the directions… even though it’s my own house.

Still, I’m going to keep knocking. Someone’s got to come out for a smoke some time. Anyway, I’m still getting some shades of good stuff, even though I’m on the periphery. I can still hear the beat of the music, muffled though it is. I’m confident that I’ll get in, if I do the leg work.

That’s why I’m going be sketching every day, at least once, for the next month. Here are last night’s and this morning’s offerings.

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Unveiled

Here is my latest, titled Unveiled. It’s been sitting in my sketch pad for a week or two. It was NOT an easy free flowing composition that came out of some blast of inspiration. Instead this piece came out of scattered energies and unfocused thoughts. I was pushing myself to work, because the act of working brings me peace. Despite feeling creatively blocked and this piece being relatively painful to complete, I’m glad I stuck with it and didn’t just tear it up or colour it black, as I was tempted to do. In a sense its a reminder to me that the work serves me when I need it, just as much as I serve the work.

For a while I’ve noticed that the piece that comes after a piece that I really like, feels like this one did. I begin with a lot of expectation and then somewhere along the line I feel like it’s totally contrived and then rounding up to the end I push through to come out with something I have mixed feelings about.

However one thing I’ve learned when it comes to the creative process is how important it is to keep working on one’s practice, regardless of how interesting or futile it seems. Movement is important with creativity and like Liz Gilbert said in her TED talk, some days your muse shows up for work and some days they don’t. If you don’t keep working though, you might miss a good day.